While grocery shopping recently, I came across these “delightful” paper bags promoting mushrooms. I subsequently came very close to discovering whether or not these bags were strong enough to contain my vomit. Puns have no place in advertising copy. At least that’s what I was taught at ad school. Teachers would warn us “If you’re going to resort to a pun, you better be damn sure it works.” Kind of like telling a joke about the mentally disabled. For every well-crafted headline featuring a pun (if one even exists), there’s thousands that suck balls. These hack-generated lines may have worked, once upon a time. Then again, buggy whips used to fly off the shelves too. It’s not that I’m against the playful use of words, but puns are instantly recognizable. They make you cringe, like kissing a girl in a club only to see her standing in front of a urinal in the men’s room later on. Need more proof? Check out this zinger.This ad doesn’t make me want to call Bill to help sell my house; it makes me think he couldn't sell a lifeboat on the fucking Titanic. It’s just plain awful.
In case I haven’t made my point perfectly clear, here’s some more nauseating headlines:
“Thanks for the brake.” Denver Public Transport
“Drop your pants here.” Dry cleaners
“The best place to take a leak.” Radiator Repair Shop
“We just keep rollin’ a lawn.” Sod farm
Comcast recently produced a TV ad featuring a lifeguard performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a large, unconscious deer. The tagline: Save Big Bucks. Guess what fuckers? Now I’m sticking with Time Warner Cable no matter how bad they suck. So unless you’re 11 years old and writing your first ad, you’ve got no excuses for writing a pun. And if you think your puns are clever, trust me, they’re not.
