It's supposed to be a fire-truck but you'd never know it. For starters I didn't know fire-trucks were yellow. Secondly, it has a two large testicles on either side of it, not to mention five legs! And what are those green splotches meant to be? Answer: who gives a shit. It's rubbish and deep down, my boss knows it.
Perhaps more insulting than having to look at seizure-inducing wall pollution at the office, is receiving a similar piece of crap from your own kid. For my last birthday, I received this masterpiece from my daughter.
What is it you ask? Good fucking question. According to my kid, it's a picture of "daddy and me playing near our tree house". O.K. firstly, we don't have a tree house, nor have we ever played inside a tree house. We live in an apartment in New York City. There's no damn tree-houses here. What world are you living in kid? Secondly, why the fuck am I orange with antennas popping out of my head? That's just insulting. Also, if it's a picture of "daddy and me" why are you nowhere in sight? Perhaps you had the good sense to escape this horrible mess? Or maybe you're hiding inside that structurally unsound looking treehouse supported by three Yo-Yos rather than a conventional tree trunk. At least the tree is green. Some consolation in an otherwise pathetic gift which "mysteriously" found its way into the garbage after you fell asleep that night. 
