What is it with Rabbis that cannot accept the limitations of their chosen profession? We get it. You like having your photo taken with spiritually confused celebrities. You want your name to appear on the New York Times bestseller’s list. You want Charlie Rose to reinforce your delusions of grandeur. Now you also want to be the first rabbi elected to the U.S. Congress—completely bypassing the other rungs on the self-promotion ladder including: joining a boy band, leaking a sex tape, or starring in your own Reality TV show. To be fair, Shmuley Boteach did host his own reality TV show, was chummy with the late Michael Jackson and has penned such books as Kosher Sex, Kosher Adultery, The Kosher Sutra and most recently Kosher Jesus (I’m picking up a theme here). Hell, for $14.95 you can even buy your very own Rabbi Shmuley bobblehead toy. So perhaps a career in politics is a natural next step for the man who refers to himself as “America’s Rabbi”. Then again, maybe not. Boteach claims that congress needs him “Because the problems we’re seeing in our great nation are not caused by an economic downturn but by a values erosion, and [he] intends to be the values-voice that Congress so desperately needs.” Huh. And all this time I thought that the economic downturn was triggered by a complex interplay of valuation and liquidity problems in the United States banking system plus the bursting of the U.S. housing bubble, which caused the values of securities tied to U.S. real estate pricing to plummet, damaging financial institutions globally. But what the hell do I know? Now you’re probably wondering what policies the “values-voice” will bring to the table. How about an extension of the so-called blue laws? You know, religiously motivated legislation common in New England that keeps certain stores closed on Sundays? According to Rabbi Shmuley, its time to “consider legislation to recreate an American Sabbath so parents have an incentive to take kids to a park rather than teaching them to find satisfaction in the impulse purchase.” You hear that small business owners? We know you’re struggling to make ends meat and we’d love to visit your stores, but Michael Jackson’s rabbi demands that we take our kids to the park instead.
In spite of having zero political experience, Rabbi Shmuley has managed to garner support from the likes of Robert Yudin, chair of the Bergen County Republican Organization. According to Yudin, “He has name recognition, he’s written books. He would certainly give the Democrats a run for their money.” Hey Robert, you know who else has name recognition and has written books? Snookie, Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber—to name a few.
Haven’t Americans had their fill of sanctimonious characters spouting religious-infused rhetoric about “family values”? From Rabbi Shmuley’s desire to run for office on a platform of Kosher family values, to Rick Santorum’s religiously-infused anti-gay and anti-abortion positions, these folks seem completely out of touch with the intentions of the founding fathers. Whatever happened to Thomas Jefferson’s insistence to erect a wall of separation between church and state?
On a personal note, the most maddening part of Boteach’s political ambitions is that he is a Rabbi. Not just any rabbi, remember? “America’s Rabbi”. He sports a thick beard. Gestures with his hands a lot, and “Kosher” is clearly his favorite word. Let me be clear. It’s not that he’s Jewish. There have always been Jews in American politics. However, being an outwardly observant Jew in public office is a different bowl of matzo ball soup entirely. One slip up, one misappropriation of charitable funds, one brouhaha with the IRS, or one interview in which he comes across as some rambling fanatic, and it’s not just Shmuley who suffers—folks like me suffer too. We’re the ones who field questions from co-workers, acquaintances and even strangers about the antics of our “fellow-Jew”. We’re the ones forced to openly separate our own political and religious views from his, further reinforcing how fractured the Jewish population has become. And we’re the ones compelled to defend him when his religious beliefs are being questioned or ridiculed.
There are plenty of avenues for Rabbi Shmuley Boteach to leave his dent in the world. Some of which he’s already explored, and others he has no business exploring.
