Malcolm Gladwell is one of my favorite writers. He’s also a really interesting guy. His dad is British, his mom is Jamaican, and yet his hair is unmistakably Jewish. Go figure. Maybe that’s why he’s so adept at demonstrating the surprising connections between things like politeness and being a crappy pilot, or January and hockey stars. Weird right? See, I told you he was interesting. If I were you, I’d start with Outliers, Gladwell’s take on factors that contribute to becoming a success. Bob:
If you’re partial to nasal-voiced Jewish dudes with a knack for combining words that have no business sharing a sentence, then Bob Dylan is your man. Does the “wind howl like a hammer”? I imagine it might after smoking copious amounts of marijuana. Perhaps that’s why I could never wrap my head around lyrics like “When blackness was a virtue, the road was full of mud”. To be honest, I still have no idea what that means. I must remember to ask Bob about that one when he arrives.Bill:
I really like Bill Maher. He speaks his mind, and his mind is often in sync with my mind. Like the time he suggested that religion justifies craziness. When I discovered that Gary Busey was religious I knew Bill was on to something. I loved Religulous too. I even have it on my iPod. I’ll watch it if Bill doesn’t show up. Which I wouldn’t take personally because Bill gets invited to a lot of parties at the Playboy Mansion (which may feature more nudity than a beer with me). Zipporah:
Zipporah was married to Moses, the most important religious leader in Judaism. He was also a big deal in Christianity, Islam, and a bunch of other faiths too. Everyone loves Moses. Which is understandable. He could chat with God, split seas, make frogs fall from the sky and perform a bunch of other cool party tricks. I hear he was a great guy too. If you ask me though, there’s something fishy about him. I’m hoping that after a few beers, Zipporah will set the record straight. She’ll probably become frustrated answering questions about her husband the whole time. Perhaps we’ll shoot some pool too.Moshe:
Part military leader. Part politician. Part pirate. Moshe Dayan became a fighting symbol to the world of the new State of Israel. Back then, the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) wasn’t nearly as sophisticated as it is today. In fact it wasn’t even called the IDF, it was known as the Haganah—a ragtag group of fighters with weaponry consisting of whatever they could get their hands on. Just like the A-Team. Which would make Dayan kind of like Hannibal Smith (but even cooler because of the eye patch).The Dude:
Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski. Opinions of The Dude vary. Some call him an unemployed slacker. Others prefer pot-smoking slacker. I however, think we can all learn a great deal from The Dude. Think about it. Could you remain so easygoing after being kidnapped, beaten and covered in your buddy’s ashes? What about having your favorite rug urinated on, being duped into conceiving a child and having your car stolen…and then set on fire? I didn’t think so. Nothing fazes The Dude. I want to know his secret. The Dude has requested that we change our venue to a local bowling alley that apparently makes a hell of a Caucasian. I’ll abide. The Childhood Version Of Myself:
Before you dismiss this as some narcissistic ploy, let me assure you, it isn’t. I was an impressionable kid. Which is a polite way of saying gullible. So I’m taking this opportunity to alleviate much of the anxiety that came from me being misinformed. Firstly, I’d like to assure myself that sitting close to the TV will not cause permanent damage to my eyes. And while we’re on the subject of eyes, let me also guarantee myself that what I chose to do in the privacy of my bedroom will in no way lead to blindness. Now before we discuss the creepy clown lurking under my bed ready to grab my ankles the moment my feet touch the floor, another round of root beer?
