Just saw one of the ads in the new Microsoft Office “Make It Great” campaign. I'm guessing the commercials are intended to celebrate “real people” doing amazing things with the software but the spot I saw left me more disturbed than inspired. It features a mom/homeschool teacher who seems positively giddy about the new PowerPoint slide transitions. Firstly, there’s something really sad about watching people go nuts over “honeycomb” transitions in their shitty slideshow presentations. What’s sadder is that a frivolous feature like this would warrant any commercial time at all. It's like dedicating an entire spot to announcing a brand new font. Who gives a shit! Then again, if I spent 24/7 locked inside a suburban home with my four social misfit kids and an easily excitable husband with a hard-on for the new PowerPoint, lame ass slide transitions might understandably be the highlight of my day too. Then there’s the whole homeschooling thing. Is it just me, or does homeschooling seem like the first step to forming a cult? One day mom's teaching algebra in the kitchen, the next day she's convincing you and your siblings to wrap your heads in foil and feed each other poison. In fact, a study done by the National Center for Education Statistics, notes that the most common reason parents gave for educating their kids at home was “the desire to provide religious or moral instruction”. If you were to ask me “Who is more likely to turn up to work one day and spray the office with bullets: The person ho attended a public school or the person who was homeschooled?” I’d going with the homeschooled person every time. Here's some reasons why:
1. Call me old-fashioned, but a classroom shouldn’t also be where you eat your Fruit Loops or watch American Idol or play Wii. Students deserve a learning-focused place to study.
2. Going to Walmart with your mom is not a "field trip".
3. Stuffed animals are not your "friends".
4. Pajamas are not appropriate school attire.
5. Hanging out with another kid is not an acceptable Christmas gift.
6. Not knowing what grade you're in is strange.
7. Failing to acknowledge that your self-aggrandizing, society-phobic mother is holding you back socially (and probably academically too) is dangerous.
8. Giving kids an outsider complex because they never experienced a traditional learning environment is unfair.
9. Homeschooling parents are arrogant to the point of lunacy. Teaching qualifications matter. Period. There’s no way you can competently teach English, biology, history, Spanish, P.E., art, as well as being a guidance counselor… and… and…
10. Is it fair to expect a kid to naturally draw a distinction between mom and teacher?
11. Homeschooling could breed intolerance, and maybe even racism. Unless the student is being homeschooled at the MTV Real World house, there’s probably only one race/sexuality/background in the room. How can a young person learn to appreciate other cultures if he or she isn’t exposed to them?
So there you have it. So much to muse from one crappy 30 second spot. Perhaps it wasn’t a complete waste after all.
Check out the spot here (but only if you’re really bored).
