Finally booked a ticket to Australia. Been a while since I've been "home" and I'm sure it'll feel like a time warp (it usually does). Am I a visitor or resident? When did that building replace my house? When did she die? What do you mean he went to jail? etc.
I told mum (or is it mom?) that I'd booked a ticket. She responded with "what food would you like me to prepare for you?" I'm not joking. Apparently the menu was the most pressing issue about my trip. It's a whole two months before I arrive. How the hell am I supposed to predict what my appetite will be like then? Of course I didn't dare say this to my mother (even untrimmed sideburns offend her). Instead, I blurted out "schnitzels". I know what you're thinking. What's up with schnitzels? Honestly, it was the first word that came to mind and I can now look forward to seven days worth of breaded chicken (nice one Dov).
Food aside, I'm really looking forward to the trip. I'll be attending a good friend's wedding. I usually despise weddings. Forced, awkward conversations, uncomfortable clothing and endless speeches that aggrandize perfectly ordinary folks. No thanks. I know, I know. That sounds so pretentious and cynical. I don't mean to be, but I've lost count of the number of weddings I've attended and after a while they become somewhat generic (sans the wedding where the groom impaled his foot on a shard of glass while performing the stomping ceremony beneath the chuppah). But this one should genuinely be fun. Mates reuniting. Booze. Dancing. I'm psyched. I'll keep you posted.
